Sunday, December 18, 2011
A Three Story Life: Holidays
This year I understand that my life story is not the same story as my father's life story. Or my brother's. Who I am, how I operate in my world is about me. Our stories coincide, mesh often, and merge randomly, but the stories have their own lineage. In order to perform at optimum, I have to stay still in a swirl of episodes, a whirlwind of emotion, experience and realities. On holidays, that cyclone gets spinnier, when more family and circumstances expand the gear ratio. The wider the connections, the calmer I need to be. Perhaps all caregivers would find this feat daunting. Centering is necessary. Dancers can spin endlessly only by keeping eyes focused on a stationary object in the middle distance. Tightrope walkers can remain elevated by not looking down. Caregivers need to focus on their inner loci, the carer heart, the love that is central to being able to perform at all. Centered, calm, confident, compassionate. Compassionate first about you, and when you're calm and centered that compassion will shine out in a steady stream, rather than be scattered ineffectively to the gyroscopic distance. Take 3 deep breaths, focus, and calm yourself, and have a happier holiday season. Give yourself the gift of gently caring for you, and the care you give others will reflect that gentle regard.