How You Talk!

I went to the bank today to deposit a check I picked up yesterday. It was fortunate I went because I bolloxed my accounting. The bank was adding overdraft fees as fast as multiple debits can be processed, so it was horrifying, but damn lucky I did Saturday banking. My heart thumped unwelcome gymnastics, enough to scare me.

To the manager's credit, she reversed some of the loot. But she found it necessary to "remind" me that it is required to actually have the money in one's account. She said this in a tone that was automatic, without looking at me at all, and with a patronizing lilt that was humiliating. I was so furious and ashamed, I couldn't speak.

A friend and I are writing a book about aging, and caring for our aging seniors. We have noticed during this investigative journey that some senior offspring have a tendency to speak to their aging parents as though their elders are small children. I've caught myself doing it. I don't know why we do it, but the role reversal we adopt shows up, and not to our credit. Our parents are older, have more life experience, have wisdom we may never find or share, had enough intelligence and stamina to raise us to adulthood, and deserve and need the respect they are entitled to have.

I tasted the humiliation of being treated like a child today. It is unpleasant and unnecessary. Even when I'm a stupid adult, or a muddled senior, I'm never a baby, and I hope I will keep that thought in my heart and brain before I speak.