Friday, January 6, 2012
A Three Story Life - Surgery
We had a remarkable week between Christmas and new year's day. The calm I credited to not going anywhere on Christmas day; Dad was peaceful and appreciative of the quiet. Scott was more present, smiling once in a while. On New Year's Eve I gave Scott a happy new year balloon. I took it to his room, peeked around the corner, and he didn't startle, he looked at the balloon and held out his hand. I said "happy new year, Scott," and he said, "thank you, Linda." His eyes were clearly on the moment, and I was ecstatic. All is well. This week the calm went south for the winter. I was out yesterday afternoon, called to ask about dinner. Dad's voice was low. He had no answers for what he'd like to eat. I told him I'll take care of dinner when I get home. I ordered Chinese. Walked in the house, and the table wasn't cleared from dinner - Dad had warmed up the pea soup he made and fed himself and Scott in that 20 mins. I said "did you hear me say I'd take care of dinner?" He didn't answer. I dispatched the anger out into the cold night. Chinese food's in the refrigerator until I throw it out. Anger sent on holiday, I sat, asked him what was troubling him. He doesn't like the slow progress of the VA. He told me his health history. I've learned from listening to the VA doctor to ask "is that new?" when Dad chronicles his issues. As he related the story, I only had to ask about newness once. His ailments are the same. I did not respond. I listened. I reminded him he has a CT scan appointment on the 19th. A two-pronged vascular dept. appointment on the 7th. He said if I called a foot doctor right now, I'd be scheduled for surgery immediately. Ah. I asked "is that what you want, a surgery?" He didn't answer. We'll get a surgery some day soon. Maybe more than one. And it won't help. The VA doctor has been guiding him away from surgical intervention for years. Dad will have his way, and I'll be supportive, best way I can.