What I Want for My Birthday

I want my mom back so I can ask her what it was like to give birth.

I want to stand up for myself whenever I feel it is necessary and not feel guilty.

I want to stop reading things that make me crazy, furious, sad or dumbfounded.

I want to have no opinion about more stuff.

I want a hair conditioner that conditions my hair rather than my shower stall.

I want a cellphone that makes a call and keeps it until I hang up.

I want a piece of key lime pie. With a candle. So here 'tis - Happy Birthday!